Introducing the 2015-2016 Most Exalted Potentate of Beer – Becky Oliver. As Firehouse Brewing Company’s representative of goodwill she travels to festivals, events and parties and uses her position to benefit mankind.
For those of you who don’t know, the Exalted Potentate of Beer is a position whose duties include but, are not limited to, being an ambassador of good will for the Firehouse, setting a wholesome example for children, and being a shining beacon of craft beer to rally a troubled world.
Here are just a few of her many accomplishments:
When a helpless kitten crawled to the top of the Empire State Building, all was thought lost. Quick thinking Becky acted fast. Utilizing skills taught to her by her husband, and world parkour champion – Bob Oliver, Becky nimbly scaled the outside of the building and shimmied to the top of the spire to bring the hapless creature down in her teeth.
When an alien spaceship landed behind the Rushmore Mall, the highest levels of our government were shaken to the core. These aliens would be satisfied with nothing less than turning half of our population into human slaves and eating the other half. Our president was at a loss and knew that there was only one person to turn to, the 2015 Exalted Potentate of Beer, Becky Oliver. Armed only with Firehouse beer, Becky set out to broker a peace. After several hours of tense negotiation, she was able to forge a peace with these alien creatures that will last centuries and even manged to get them to pay for the beer. Many don’t know this story as our government has classified all the information to keep the world from panic.
When a new terrorist organization, rumored to be twice as vicious as ISIS, began operating in Asia, the call went out to Becky. She showed up alone in cowboy boots with an acoustic guitar. After several verses of kumbuya these blood thirsty terrorists threw down their weapons and joined the Peace Corps. Many of them went on to quietly stop other terrorist organizations from forming.
Becky has had quite a year. She has shown courage, perfect table manners, and a keen insight as to what is just. We would like to thank her and can only hope that next years Potentate can live up to the high standards set by this years winner.
Do you have what it takes to be the Exalted Potentate of Beer? Can you drink beer in any social situation? Do you enjoy attending beer festivals for free? Would you hold the title of Potentate reverentially as has been done for thousands of years? All you have to do is come to the Firehouse during Craft Beer Week on May 18th. A name will be drawn at 7:30 pm and we will crown our new Exalted Potentate of Beer. You must be present to win. Along with this prestigious title the winner will also receive their 2017 Mug Club membership for free. May destiny choose well.